Family Code of Honor
A Family Code of Honor is a set of guiding principles providing the structures for how family members interact with each other. It also helps explain how the family, as a unit, interacts with the world around it.
You Can’t Just Buy One. You Need to Make Your Own.
Developing a Family Code of Honor requires that all members commit to the time and effort required in establishing and living the Code. For it to become part of your family’s culture, you need to create it together. Also, it can’t be a set of rules dictated by a parent. It works better as a set of agreements.
How to Create a Family Code of Honor.
The Code is created in a series of facilitated family meetings. During those meetings, all family members are allowed their input in the process.
When completed, each family member agrees to the Code and signs it. They might even take an oath to live the Code to the best of their ability.
Here Are Some Examples.
Some sample principles for a Family Code of Honor:
- Show respect for yourself and other family members.
- Have a method for conflict resolution.
- There will be open and honest communications.
- I and will acceptable responsibility and accountable for my behavior.
- I realize that the family members can and will change and that may require a modification of the Family Code of Honor.
- Family unity is a goal.
- All family members will be allowed to participate in creating the Family Code of Honor to the best of their abilities.
- I will be giving and open.
Dealing With Someone Who Violats the Code.
When it becomes necessary to let a family member know that they are breaking the Code and you are the person who is responsible for doing so, use these tips. (Taken from Blair Singer’s book, Team Code of Honor: The Secrets of Champions in Business and in Life.)
- Take a deep breath.
- Acknowledge that whatever the speaker is saying is true for that person.
- Listen actively.
- If you made a mistake, admit it.
- Ask the person how you can make it right and make amends to the family.
- If the call that’s being made is not accurate, simply go back to the Code of Honor.
- Become truly interested and inquisitive about the call.
To learn more about the Family Code of Honor, sign up for a Estate Planning Strategy Session. As a bonus for registering, we will send you a PDF of attorney Paul Deloughery’s book entitled Sudden Wealth: A Revolutionary Method of Family Wealth Transfer, which discusses the idea.
If you want more information on how we can help you develop your own Family Code of Honor, sign up HERE.